"Will I Trust God?"

It seems that my life boils down to one primary issue. It is this: "Will I trust God?"

I cannot think of anything that comes even close to this question in terms of both the frequency at which it comes to the table and the difference it makes regarding the tone of my life. Sure, there are other questions that come into play..."How do I respond best in this situation?" or "What do I do next?" But they are all directly hinging on the main issue.

What I know from my own experience and from what the scriptures say is that God IS trustworthy; He will never leave me or forsake me; He is mindful of all of my needs; He will give wisdom to those who ask. On and on the points are made and evidence seen in the accounts. And yet, for me like for all of us, the next unseen answer for the situation at hand makes trusting Him the question again.

Several years ago I began creating a charm necklace. On it I've placed tiny silver symbols that represent ways that God has shown His willingness and power to come through in the very real challenges I've faced. Periodically, another charm gets purchased and added to the chain when I've experienced another surprising event--God coming through in a way that I did not design, orchestrate, or expect. When I put the necklace on nearly every morning, I am conscious again of what He has done, for me, tangibly intersecting my life. I wear this evidence to remind myself to trust today. And it makes a difference.

Proverbs has suggested that I do this. Chapter 3, verses 1-6 are quite clear:

"...do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Represented on the necklace are some solid answers to prayers and some surprises that I didn't have the courage or creativity to imagine. God has come through. Somehow, in some way, He has always been enough. It isn't the way I would have written the script. Problems haven't always evaporated, though in a few cases they have! Needs haven't always been quickly dissolved with a lavish provision, but His has gotten me from day to day through the obstacles that have been in the path and there are distinct ways He has shown His presence. Think of the numerous examples in the Bible of Jesus healing blindness.

Today when I put the necklace on I will remember again that it is, indeed, a piece of my armor. It is evidence of Him being with me and helping me. As I remember the difficult situations that I've faced, it is a call to me to trust Him for the current ones. He is able. Of course it still feels somewhat precarious to me as I have to step onto the invisible stone of faith that He is here and enough for the next thing. But He has a track record and I will be wise if I stay mindful of that as I count on His care for the needs at hand.

We face the "Will I trust Him?" question in a plethora of layers. I may very well believe Him for my provision, but struggle with His availabilty for my health. Every need is another lesson to wrestle toward belief, to wrestle my fears, to remind myself of what He has said is true, to step forward in confidence in Him. He gives me many opportunities to practice, for trusting Him is the primary thing He desires me to know. He peels back the layers to expose another untrusting part of my heart and calls for me to offer this to Him also. He loves me. He wants every part of my heart free. It is grace that keeps giving me ways to step onto the path of faith and to see once again how He will "make my paths straight."

The issues of life are never at a place where all is suddenly solved at once. But trust is the green pasture where I can lie down and rest, really rest, because I am mindful of the attention of a God who loves me.

Photographs: Tangle, by loumurphy; bamboo forest, by angela7dreams; Meadow, by Jenna