A Great Idea

I wanted to share a practical tip due to the experience of settling the estate of parents.  I am grateful that in the case of working with my sisters through these last six months since mom’s passing, things have gone very well.  Part of the reason is because we’ve had time to sort, decide, and distribute slowly, which made it easier emotionally and eased the whole of the process, and because we’ve tried to consider each other well as decisions have been made. 

 

But I wanted to pass along what John’s parents had done to prepare for that time for their children.  I’ve never heard of anyone doing it the way they did, but I think it was a gift for the family in what is often a turbulent time that divides deeply. 

 

John’s dad was an engineer for Westinghouse and his career included he and Shirley living overseas for almost a decade in two different countries.  During those years they traveled in the surrounding areas and acquired some interesting things.

 

In the mid-1980s, when they were in their early 60s and settled back in the States, they created a list of everything in their possession that they felt held worth…furniture passed through the family, furniture they had purchased, items owned by past generations, objects bought during their travels, etc.  Big and small items were included.

 

The plan was this:  Send the list to all four of their children asking what items they would be interested in.  Each one marked their list and sent it back to their parents.  The lists were then considered and all the items assigned to reflect both interest and an equitable monetary distribution to each.  That list was then sent back to all four children so that everyone knew who would eventually be getting what. 

 

It was a relatively simple process, let everyone weigh in, and left the final decision to the parents.  Most of the time, a will sets many of the parameters for the estate, but often the smaller things are not included and defined.  This idea proved to be a very helpful way of moving though that time and worth sharing. 

 

Photograph from morguefile.com by TheBrassGlass