The last six weeks have been a whirlwind of activity. Even now, just barely turning the corner of it, it is very clear that people were praying and that God was sustaining. There is no other explanation. I cannot fathom that I am not totally exhausted, but His presence has been promised and He has done what He said He would. Again. He means business. It is a strong and loving thing. We can feel buoyed up even in the most stretching of seasons.
April began with a shower we were hosting for my soon-to-be daughter-in-law. My mom had been a little under the weather and stayed put at home that day. We didn't realize what was ahead, but God could see the whole picture clearly from His point of view. I can now see some of the ways He was going before us.
The next week Mom worsened...3 days in Galion hospital to rehydrate...pneumonia clear now, body with normal fluid levels, all systems functioning, and a good evening there where she said, "I feel human again," and seemed her perky self. But she was weak and need to rehab for strength...off to Winchester Terrace (thankfully a room was available)...but not eating well, no energy for rehab plan...family in on eve of her 90th birthday...she did her "touch the floor" trick one last time and later said she was done with birthdays. Exactly one week later she had an episode that sent her back to ER at OhioHealth...a few more days in hospital with conversation, humor, difficult decisions, and memories, ...release back to Winchester and hospice and in just a few hours she peacefully slipped away. Alex M. Hickinbotham and Alex Hickinbotham's wedding was but 11 days away.
We put off the memorial service until just after the wedding since the family was all coming into town in a few days and flipped back and forth between final rehearsal dinner prep, wedding details, and planning for a fitting memorial time for Mom. The agency where Alex and I work also moved their offices that week, and my firstborn and her husband had closed on their house and a crew headed to Cinci to get them into their new home.
I am grateful for those who were praying for us during these weeks, for those who arrived with food, for those who called with offers of help or loaned us things for one of the events that all overlapped. Last Tuesday night when we finished Mom's Celebration of Life at Kingwood Center several cars headed back to Mom's to unpack the leftover food, serving dishes, displays, paper products, and flowers. Marcia Myers was heading home the next morning and Laurie and I were going back to work and the sorting had to be done. Yesterday I was back at Mom's to finish washing up linens and dishes and to tidy up. And this morning I am finally pausing, looking back at the many layers of provision that have been woven through these weeks. It is beautiful. I will undoubtedly remember more as pieces come back to mind, but let me testify to what I experienced God providing:
Mom's attentive neighbor/nurse who realized Mom was getting dehydrated in early April and recommended taking her to the ER.
The "favorite daughter", Jackie Neumann...trumped us all by arriving in Galion with Apple Hill donuts! Your love knows no bounds.
Great care from staff at Galion, Winchester, OhioHealth.
A fabulous ER nurse in Mansfield who stopped by Mom's room the next afternoon to bring her a rose. "Above and beyond" care!
"Angels" who arrive at the hospital in the crunch times!
Our first hospice contact who was a recent client of Laurie Myers Beech and brought comfort in the familiarity as we entered that conversation.
At Winchester, when we re-entered and met with the hospice contact we learned that the woman's daughter is married to one of Miss Alex's uncles--another time of comfort coming to us in an unexpected connection.
You'll be hearing from us more, but I want to mention these lovely people for the help given to us during these busy weeks. We are deeply grateful to:
Bill and Sue Schamadan for attentiveness in various ways.
Pentti Maki, Mom's pastor, for visits and for offering communion to mom in each care facility she was in.
Mom's neighbors who continue to keep watch on her place as they did to (and for) her while she was there.
Maja-lisa Anderson and DeWayne Lee for generous flexibility of time off work when family needs unfold. And to co-workers who fill in!
Paul Lintern and Pam Rider Lintern for "covering us!"
Nancy Meyer Ross Mary Spon, Holly Darsee, Amy Wilging, Lori Ballitch, Camille Anne Dekrell Dillon, Beth Feia, Jackie Neumann, Julie Leedy Snyder, Bobbie Diamond, and Cindy Bogantz for baking for Mom's Celebration.
Pat Burleigh for saying yes to coordinating the kitchen for us at Kingwood and to Jana Mulherin, Bethany Robertson, Mary Spon, Sheila Sipes-Jones, Sue Jacox, Erica Russell, Jackie Neumann, Mary O'Donnell Howell, Shirley Starnes Williams, and Ayla Yard for taking shifts over the food and beverages.
Marion Zaugg for being the joyful and comforting presence you have always been and the brother we've been blessed with, for one special tulip and a great story about Mom that we'd never heard.
Debbie Diamond Savignano and Bobbie Diamond for the very special memory necklaces you gave to us!
Jim and Tammy Canfield for your willingness to absorb more than was already on your plate!
Teri McKenzie Brenkus and Stuart Brenkus for helping with the flowers for the rehearsal dinner.
Marilyn Taylor, our resident angel!
Tom Beech, John Hickinbotham, and Larry Williams for tasks large and small that pour out from who you are and what you offer.
Jaciedavid Ada Edelstein, Tyler Hickinbotham, Kyle Hickinbotham, Alex M. Hickinbotham, Alex Hickinbotham, Jenna Hickinbotham, Lia Hickinbotham, Cade Hickinbotham for all the ways you pitched in.
(My apologies to anyone I have missed!)
Having a wedding and a funeral in such a close proximity sharpened the lens for both. Having community surround you in both celebrations and losses is a precious gift. There will undoubtedly be months ahead to process and as memories surface and we adjust to Mom's absence, but I am so very grateful for the life she was blessed to live, the way she gave to so many, and that she was totally herself clear to her death which came swiftly but allowed time for some meaningful last conversations. I am also aware of her flaws and the need she had for a Savior who could both help her through the rough spots of life and rescue her from what was too big for her to do herself.
As this verse that I'd posted two years ago popped up this morning, it is clear that it is truth. God sees, He helps, He understands every need and goes before us. When we are interested in what that means and take a chance that He might be who He says He is and may do what He said He would, we are given glimpses of His presence through every high and low moment of life. He is an alive and still working God. He is good. He is endlessly good. And His love endures forever.
