Tuning Up

One of my hopes is to be as transformed in this life as possible…to let God have access to me in every possible way, to let Him into every wound to heal me, into every thought to teach me, into every moment to guide me.  I miss the mark often (stuck in too thin understanding or fears), but I keep at it, consciously desiring to enjoy Him and to be enjoyed by Him and yielded to His design and directions, so that increasingly my less-focused moments will flow more naturally in those paths as well, my life bearing the fruit from the seed of trust.

I also realize now more than ever that part of my healing (and a lot of my pain) comes from interactions with others still jagged like me in their own journeys, but essential to my well being.  It is so easy to draw back and protect, to lash out or lick our wounds.  Some of us have made a career out of it, given far too much of our lives to the case as prosecution, defense, witness, judge and jury.  But when we get a glimpse of God’s grandeur and profound goodness, when we taste His power and care for us, when we are nourished by His word and see the evidence of His orchestration, we find we don’t have to be so afraid of Him, of ourselves, or of others—we don’t have to succumb to the ill effects that have occurred, but can have wisdom in how we respond.  It is in the beginning of that freedom that we can notice the melody is strong and steady and the harmonies add to the beauty, revealing that each instrument can be a part for the good, whether it was intended that way or not.  We start looking for the conductor’s baton rather than the judge’s gavel.