Cynic?

I realized this morning that I am at a crossroads of sorts.  I have been in a rhythm of faith and belief for more than four decades.  I have also been in some rough situations that stretch and frustrate me.  Granted, I have considered and prayed about them, about my heart/actions and the heart/actions of others, but I also find that I have let my mouth speak too critically too often and am realizing the cost it could take.  Although I have a high degree of hope in transformation and in God’s faithfulness, I also can get cranky when I don’t see it unfolding, especially when apathy seems to be the prominent tone in any given circumstance. 

I have a choice.  I can dive into a pool of cynicism or stand on the presence of an utterly brilliant God who is assuredly at work, and wait for His answers to arrive.  I can complain or I can join Him by quiet listening, quick responsiveness, and vulnerable availability to what He wants to shape in me along the way.  I am sensing that this is a crucial time.  What kind of woman I will be in the years ahead, and how I influence the atmosphere anywhere I am will likely be determined in part by how I choose to live out these things now.   Paying attention to these nudges is a part of the shaping He does in us.  I don’t want to be resistant to His mercy and wisdom in them; it is a gift.

Photograph from morguefile.com by 5demayo