Her Way

 She’d told us dozens of times, “Don’t cry when I’m gone.”  She’d also been saying for a long time, “I’m ready.”  Those who knew her recognized her as a determined woman in some specific areas of life, and numerous people outside the family also heard her make the statements mentioned above, but only those who saw her in this past week or so realized how seriously she meant what she’d said.

Over the past days several medical professionals heard our account of the progression of her decline and couldn’t seem to wrap their heads around the timeline that had occurred.  We three daughters had seen it though, understood her better, observed her substantial weariness, and stood with her as she walked as she chose to the end of her life.  Through these days she has taught us something about the human will--a more powerful thing than we knew.  Momma took her last breaths peacefully just after 6:00 last evening.  The atmosphere was a bit unconventional.

I won’t go into all of the details, but we’d been told around 4:00 yesterday afternoon that she had very little time left.  Marcia, Laurie, and I gathered a few things and settled in to spend Tuesday night and whatever hours of Wednesday would be left in her journey.  A few of grandkids arrived and while surrounding her we collectively came to a sense of the spirit that Momma wanted in the room as she was released from her earthly time.  And after creating it there was only another few minutes before she very peacefully slipped away.  It seems like she was waiting for us to set the stage for the exit she desired most.  

Mom was quirky and generous and visionary.  When she wanted to do something, she often had a pretty specific idea of how she wanted it done.  “Efficiency” could have been her middle name.  Even in her death she seemed truly herself.  She left us honestly and, it seems, purposefully.

She was our biggest fan, putting in the shadows any abilities she ever claimed we girls had as cheerleaders and majorette leading the band.  Our MOM was actually the top cheerleader.  We will greatly miss that previously undying support that has now flickered out.  We sat with her for a long while after her passing, remembering many things we were privileged to have had and will never experience again in quite the same way.  

There is a lot to process and a boatload of things to embrace about what she’s given us and all we have to be grateful for.  I thank her for all of it.  I also want to thank those of you who have shared your care these past couple of weeks, supporting us through these days and especially for the prayers that became arms around us offering strength and comfort.  You made these steps easier and more tender as we felt your love for us and for mom.  

Life goes by so quickly.  What we are more acutely aware of today is the opportunity we have to be together and to love one another.  We are aware more than ever of the importance of being willing to work through differences and rebuild damaged bridges.  Don’t take the moments and the relationships of your life lightly.  And if you get the chance, get a recipe for German Chocolate Brownies and Sour Cream Coffee Cake and enjoy them occasionally, and remember our mom.  (If you come to her Celebration of Life service in a couple of weeks, copies will be available.)

Momma, may your beat go on.