Sunset Days

It has only been three days since I posted, but it seems like weeks.  So much has been pressed into these bittersweet hours.  My momma’s situation has deteriorated and there have been decisions to make and things to monitor.  Her condition had declined and on Saturday evening she had an episode that required transporting her to the ER.  Gratefully, Laurie and I were right with her when it occurred--up until then we’d been taking turns visiting to cover evenings and mornings.  

Fast track forward...momma is now in hospice care.  We have had some very sweet moments with her in her awake times.  Even though Alex’s wedding is just eleven days away and there are additional major things on the other burners of life, I have experienced His faithfulness once again.  There have been difficult moments and time-sensitive decisions that we did our best to maneuver, and found that they had been sound ones.  

Some unexpected pieces and people were present that have been precious gifts in the process.  As is the case in life, there have also been a few challenging folks, which made us even more thankful for those whose hearts and efforts to communicate with compassion and the information that we needed.  But life is rarely insulated, even when we would most like it to be.  My colleague, Rich, who lost his own mother the evening we were in the ER gave me some very good advice.  “Feel everything, soon it will be something glorious, beyond feeling.”  They have been words that let me be in these moments without emotionally running from the pain, which have quickly proven to become doorways of gratitude instead of locked gates and pent up emotions.  But no matter what, it is a process.  

What is on our plates now seems like a whole lot, but His grace, mercy, and strength are buoyant and tangible realities and sustain us on.  It is miraculous.  And He proves He is enough for the journey.  

I will ask for your prayers for momma and the family as we see her through her last days and approach the wedding ahead as well as preparing for her memorial service.  

He is good, and His love endures forever.  I am utterly grateful to be His well-loved daughter, to receive His lavish provision, to know that His faithfulness is present always and is revealed over and over even in days as tough as these.  A sure place to stand, to rest, to be.