One of the most wonderful things
about the opportunity to believe is that we don’t have to have any particular
set of abilities to walk with Him.
He has made all of us with the capacity to hold what He wants to give,
to steward what He wants to do, to relate to the Creator of the universe. That’s what human life is. That’s what we’ve all been shaped for.
But because He didn’t design us
to be robots (to obey without a choice in the matter), because He didn’t want
response without our desire and love for Him being an ingredient and dared to
give us free will (seriously, if you were God would you have done that?!),
because He longs for relationship, we are given the choice to decide if and how
much.
My observations and experience
tell me this: We can have
absolutely gigantic portions of God.
(I realize I don’t quite have the language I need to describe this, so
bear with me.)
We can get to know Him and
experience His love and power in huge ways in our lives and running through our
lives. But a key part of it
happening is our hunger for Him and our willingness to receive and learn what
only another can give us. We must
be teachable. We get to take the
lid off of our lives and have Him fill us (not so easy if we are trying to
control or clutch life because we’re not yet sure if He is good. Fear is NOT my friend.)
If I begin to watch for His
goodness, ask for eyes to see, give anxiety less room to run the show, and dare
to think that He could be at work for good, my lens will start to catch His
activity. One way to start is in
watching sunsets and star-filled skies and roadsides of wildflowers and
children’s faces. It helps if we
slow down and sit to drink it in.
Wonder isn’t a thing that occurs easily if we are trying to multi-task
or worried about all that isn’t getting done while we pause. Later we will even be able to see Him
in chaos, because He is present there to bring peace. Can I learn to find Him in the mess?
Our capacity to experience God
can never reach a limit. There is
always more. It’s mind-boggling to
me that He will keep pouring and pouring Himself into my life and day. But if there are other things filling
me…worry, pride, distractions of endless variety, and especially undealt-with
sin, those are like boulders taking large amounts of space and weighing down my
life with heavy stuff I have to carry with me everywhere. No wonder we can be so worn out.
He has made me to be an earthly
vessel of His presence, a moving temple of God to carry Him through life and
pour Him out to others and into situations as liberally as He pours. I surely don’t always do that privilege
justice, but I am increasingly aware of what a stunning opportunity it is to be
a part of His life and to be a participant in His work. He NEVER says “That’s enough, let’s
just maintain right here.” He
keeps pouring more.
God, forgive me for too often
believing the lie that Your abundance will create a mess. Your lavishness will never remove any
good thing. You come through, a
raging river with the ultimate wisdom to look after every tender shoot that
should remain and brilliantly only washing out anything that would interfere
with what would capture and destroy us.
I have to deal with the intensity of Your power and decide it is for
good or I will never trust You with anything that is the scope of Your desire.
You are a storm of love. Forgive me for too often wanting a
babbling brook, not daring for more than the size of what I could seemingly
control. You have much more good
than that in mind.
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